Sis, you’ve had enough! You’re ready to go. BUT, where do you start? It’s all about… your mindset.

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From the age of 17 to 26, I didn’t realize how deeply I’d lost myself. And if you’re anything like I was, you know exactly what that feels like. One day you convince yourself it’s “not that bad,” and the next you’re waking up in the middle of a tornado you never saw coming. I knew things were wrong because I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror—but I had no idea just how far I’d drifted.

Abuse hits like a light switch in a dark room. One moment you’re feeling around, trying to survive in the shadows, and the next—blinding truth. There you are, standing in the center of a hurricane. And abuse doesn’t always show up as bruises. It can be emotional, mental, financial, spiritual, sexual, or the quiet destruction of infidelity. It chips away at you piece by piece until one day you’re staring at a version of yourself you barely know.

The Restore Mindset was born inside that fog—before I had words for what was happening, before I understood the patterns or the trauma. It became my blueprint for finding my way back to myself. Step one was simple but life-changing: remembering me. Reclaiming my power, my voice, my intuition, my identity.

This space exists to help you do the same. To remind you that you’re not broken—you’re rebuilding. And even if you’re not physically ready to leave yet, this guide will help you remember who you are… so when the moment comes, you’re ready for the war ahead—and the freedom waiting on the other side.

What does R.E.S.T.O.R.E stand for?

Let’s unpack that.

If you’ve read my story, then you already know that R.E.S.T.O.R.E isn’t just a cute word—it’s the blueprint that helped me escape and rebuild my life. But for those who are new here, let’s break it all the way down:

R – Research
Understand the abuse, the abuser, the trauma cycles—and most importantly, understand yourself.

E – Express
Journal the past, acknowledge the present, manifest your future. Get it out of your body.

S – Sweat
Move. Release what your body has been holding onto for too long.

T – Take Rest
Rest your mind. Rest your spirit. Rest is resistance.

O – Organize
Prepare your resources, your plan, your exit. Strategy is safety.

R – Reclaim
Your identity. Your voice. Your joy. Your power.

E – Empower
Use what you’ve learned to strengthen yourself—and eventually, others- build a community that understands you and supports you.

Now that you know what R.E.S.T.O.R.E means let’s take a quick pause because HONEYYYYYY, we are not about to start this journey making that loser (your abuser) the center of attention. FUCK THAT. FIRST, we need to research someone WAYYYYY more important…. YOU.

You are the only person deserving of research right now. This time YOU are putting YOU first. This is the step before the first step… Making the active and intentional decision to make YOURSELF the priority! Who are you? Who were you? What do you love? What are your values and principles? The very first step in healing is remembering yourself after abuse—reclaiming your power and your identity. Who were you before the gaslighting, manipulation, betrayal, or infidelity? Who were you before you became the version of yourself they shaped, controlled, or forced you to be?

There was a you long before survival mode took over — the one who laughed openly, trusted her instincts, dreamed big, and felt safe in her own skin. She didn’t vanish; she went into hibernation, tucked away to survive.

This step of your healing is about waking her up—piece by piece, memory by memory. It’s about reclaiming the identity trauma tried to bury and stepping back into the fullness of who you were always meant to be.

The worksheet below is a self-help guide for your research and self-discovery. Inside, you’ll find questions designed to help you think about the pieces of yourself your abuser worked so hard to make you forget. It’s gentle but honest, reflective but empowering—because remembering you is the foundation of healing.

And the best part? It’s completely free and ready for you to print, download, or revisit anytime you need a reminder of who you are and who you’re becoming.